Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Knitting up some fun

For the Entire month of Dcember I've been crocheting up little snowmen with hats and scarves. They were a fast and easy project to do for family this Chrismats something that can go on the tree and nothing that took too much time or having done more for one person than another. After having spent the last few day putting the decorations back into there boxes and away in the closet for next year. So too have the snowmen been put down untill next year comes around. Hopefully having learned this year, after having caught a cold and unexpected travels to realtives homes I'll start my Christmas projects in July just to be safe and make sure there is no more added stress. Finally I get to do some fun knitting I was asked to do a funky hat for a cousin of mine thats a year older than my oldest. Originally I was to charge my normal fee, but in spite of the Holidays desided to make it another present. It's not too often I get to craft for little girls having three boys of my own. Plus lately the whole wanting to be an Aun thing has really been on my mind. Got a few fun things I have plans for the near future, murlocs for the husband a few creep cute crochet dolls for the kids and a few projects for me for a change.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Santa Baby

It's dark out and after spending the day cleaning up after three days of celebrating Christmas it's nice to finally get back to schedule. The kids had a blast and it was amazing how things turned out. Husband got his weight bench and pull up bar that he has been wanting since starting the p90x program. We also received floor mats which I couldn't tell you how greatly appreciated they are, considering we have hardwood floors. The kids got a few small toys which was a relief. This year they mostly received educational, board and card games, each of the boys got their own spiderman bedding set. A new set of books to read with mom each nght. Santa was amazing as usual for me this year and got a new computer. My previous one was a ace notebook which allowed me to do the basics, but a strain on the eyes and the after math headache was begining to become too much when gaming was concerned. It was such an eye opener to finally see other players names and to actually see the characters surroundings. Luckily Santa was also thinking of mom and her troubles of dresser madness. A few weeks ago I posted on my facebook wall two sets of double pointed needles I've desperately needed. Both pairs are bamboo and have sizes 1-13 which works wonders on my Arthritic hands. Finally I can finish projects with the right sized needle instead of my makeshift two sizes that walmart has available. My dear mother got some books online from one of my favorite designers Erica Knight not the ones I had hoped for but with Erica there is no pattern that doesn't fascinate me. Then theres this quilted blanket pillow set that reminds me of The Proposal with Sandra Bullock, the baby making blanket and with three kids already, I simply could not stop laughing. I'm glad this Christmas turned out to be a happy ending the boys got to spend time with all their grandparents, Aunt Amy, and had blast. Seeing their faces light up, was to finish finding new homes for the aquired goods, and for a very happy knitter to break in some double pointed needles!

Friday, December 16, 2011

Dreads Close to three months

This time around I've been very pleased with my dreading experience. It's only almost three months in but the difference is amazing. This time my hair is longer so it is  probably the majority of why this time my dreads are becoming locked a lot better and faster. Last time there was so much maintenance that it was more of a chore than enjoyment so much palm rolling, and crocheting. I was more in high hopes of doing what ever i could just to speed the process along. Worried about the size of the dreads, Why mine were so small compared to everyone's I'd seen on Youtube? The biggest differences I'd have to say are first my starting method. When the hubby and I started our last time we did the whole backcomb rubber band method. It took so much time and was a pain in the butt. Sitting with a stiff neck and rubber bands everywhere. this time I still did the backcombing and crocheting but no rubber bands and just let them be. When I've gotten done washing them and letting them set in a towel on for a good 15-20 minutes I'll palm roll them and separate any that have knotted together and that's it. No every other day crocheting them, no palm rolling till my hands cramp and are raw. Juts letting them go natural My hair is fuller and the individual can e seen with no scalp showing. Not sure if it's from me sleeping on my sides vs. my back, but my sides are well matted and the back is a lot looser. But hopefully with time they will catch up. Looking really forward to my three months...At 6 months I'll be giving away a slouchy hat to one lucky follower who joins my page As of right now with the Christmas season close to an end.

Here's my big Announcement
I've got Baby fever, so starting tomorrow everyone that likes my page till the end of December will have a chance to receive a cocoon and hat set for baby, 5 will receive a snowman ornament and depending on how well my page does other items will be up for grabs. So share with your friends and congratulations on your precious little angels!!! Happy Holidays!!!

Friday, December 2, 2011

At A Stand Still

As I previously stated I've started a page with high hopes of selling my hobby. Which has taken a lot of my time as of late. Keeping in touch with possible viewers, making product to sell and pretty much waiting, with a tad bit more waiting. Originally I had hoped that I'd be able to take my hobby and make a small profit all while enjoying crafting for others. I've followed a couple of pages here and there just to see the progress and of course their beautiful work and mostly for my motivation. At a stand still all I can do now is to continue to hope and to stitch till my hearts content. My dreads are just a few days away from two months, So my excitement is drawing closer then tree months here I come. Every time I head out I keep forgetting to pick up some Baking soda for my rinse. So sadly it's been bar soap for my locks which has loosened them a tad bit but not enough to cause any harm. Just proves as a further reminder to hopefully pick it up the next time i'm out and about. Lately my husbands hours of work has changed so naturally, more time with the boys and mostly myself . Gotten a lot of not your usual cleaning done and a few series lined up to watch as I sit and stitch. Had a fair share of trouble with the two elder boys this last two weeks, listening wise and tidying up after they have played. Sadly the boys have acquired so many toys and clothes through the last few years that it's become a major problem. So one attempt is to reach out to family and friends not to buy anymore toys for the upcoming holidays nor clothes. Yet I can bet it goes ignored and won't happened as to my request At yet again more toys to have to find homes for. Urgh not looking forward to that part of the holidays. One toy breaks and oh well theres another to take it's place just doesn't work for me, rather them start learning to pride in their processions.  So mommy gets to play a little hard ball.

 slouchy hat

 Owl hat that my son requested

Monday, November 21, 2011

Things don't always go as planned

As the title plainly states, things don't always go as planned. After waking up this morning, I thought to myself, "right self today were going to get things done. No more being lazy, no more will things just keep piling up." Made myself a list of what I was hoping to get accomplished and not even half got accomplished, Yet again. Soon after waking up I figured would  be the best time to accomplish the boys room, since they were all occupied in their toy room. First things first my mom got the youngest a mattress for the crib that has been in the closet for the last two years so thought right surely I can get it out and put it together...yeah not to be. What was sure to be a simple task was no simple task there for some reason beyond me were 5 short screws and 3 long screws. The long ones were very difficult to put in and the short ones didn't keep the crib together and to no avail did the crib get put to together. My oldest being all muscle and helping to hold the sides together for the better part of an hour finally said" Mom lets ask for grandpa's help there just something that's just not working here." Of course my stubbornness would've have keep me going. But there were others things needing to be done plus there was no way spending it on a crib was going to work without me or the crib getting hurt. So on to list number two. Finishing the boys room which had it's difficulties that all three kids were curious to find out what mom was doing. After lunch for the boys and putting the younger two down for a nap Me and the eldest set forth to right the toy room. Which all three are really good at picking up after they've played, as well as the bedroom,  but toys tend to find new homes and end up lost in other realms. So straightening up once or twice  month is very much needed especially when no one can find spider-man or cars have all gone to mars instead of the bucket. Didn't take too long, with the little that was left went to clean the good ole dreads. Just to find an empty box of baking soda, so after a time pondering to wait another day or use bar soap, or dare the shampoo. Well bar soap it was rather them be clean when having to go out and about later that afternoon. Sebastian proudly showed off his clean toy room then brought me a surprise. "Mom I was worried about you, you forgot to eat lunch, I made you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, all by myself." after all the planned disasters for the day. The swift kick in the butt each of them gave me. What a splendid unplanned treat. To sit and spend time with my kiddo eating the best peanut butter sandwich I've ever had.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

upcoming holidays

It's been a while since I last posted. During that time a lot happened and then again not a lot happened. To begin with I finally finished my sisters blanket about a week ago now it's waiting in a corner to be given to her. The kids and I ping-ponged being sick for the last week or so. So you can imagine the fun that's been. My Wonderful husband and I celebrated our Birthdays and our anniversary, with a joint gift of the PX90. Whew Tony Knows how to work you that's for sure. The original idea of course is to get in better shape, be more active as well as having someone else to work out with, and to have something to do together. So far week one of  Tony's workout has been completed now to keep motivated and keep with the rest of the 90 days. For a little something special for the husband's birthday we decided to play (WOW) again. After a tough day at work or the busy schedule of a stay at home mom of three it's nice to log on kill a few mobs, defeat a boss and reap experience, booty, and better gear. Finally decided to start a page for my hobby to see where it might lead me with knitting/crochet. A bit slow at the moment but eventually with a little hope it might become a dream come true. With the holidays coming up got a list of family and friends to create wonderful holiday gifts for. My mom has requested a seat cover for a window seat that the cat tends to like. For a special young lady who is a huge twilight fan I'm hoping to make a scarf. In search of patterns I recently found an amazing blog, with an arraying of astonishing patterns I am hoping to try each available pattern for the rest of my gifts. Eventually hoping to end this holiday season with making the kiddos and myself a little something special. Maybe Even that picky husband as well.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Knit On The Brain

Lately okay lie, ever since I started knitting there's been this idea conspiring in the back of my mind. What if I were to use my hobby to create an income? there's a thought. I'll repeat I've thought of it before, continuously to be quite honest. Since I love to knit/crochet so much it'd be a splendid idea, Sure at first it won't pay bills but it'd be a start. Brainstorming I've thought about starting with simple items such as scarves, hats, gloves, throws, and blankets nothing fancy and then see if small shops will allow me to sell them. Yes I've heard of etsy and ebay but starting out seems to much of a hassle to make and ship and god knows what could happen. Myself not knowing but three others, friends/family that are aware the knitting and crocheting world. The prices on etsy are kinda high, well worth it of course. But I myself look at the simply done stitches and think wow $200 for a throw that's stockinette, wow in one color are you crazy...yet ppl buy so maybe not. Having asked around to groups many say they charge double for yarn plus double for labor, again makes perfect since. Yet if you make a hat that is one color and of course doesn't take up the entire skein, what then should you charge for the same hat yet with two colors. Being a mother to young children not yet school age time is limited so there's little time for a high demand of project to be manufactured to perfection by hand. Mostly I crochet for the thrill of it and give gifts for friends and family for special occasions...which have so far been at the latest two months after the fact. Whats a girl to do...Lots to think about...maybe a group could get more done and more items could therefore be sold?My husband being a gamer has listened to podcasts of games and has told me they make decent amounts of money, some also do vlogs/blogs. They can even get paid through advertisement on their blogs per however many viewers. Lots, lots of mind boggling thoughts, Have you any Ideas?

The bunny trail is hopping along

  Since I last posted I've conquered many a stitches on my sister's throw...which I'll admit I haven't been working on as much as I should or would like. There was the two days it took me to restart my dreads, then there was the all consuming need to yet again redecorate the house. My need for change is important to my survival I kid you not.  Finally took a deep breath and got rid of some furniture that we outgrew. My little monsters have also demanded much of my attention as of late. My youngest Declan shyly getting around to walking, with his beloved walking toy, and his frustration at carpets. Fox is being potty trained so every hour on the hour needles go down and a trip to the loo we go. Sebastian has been getting his own time with mom time to learn with ABC's, numbers, reading books together and being able to have time for him while the younger two nap. Then winding down with the husband when he is home from work let alone household chore and devouring food.
               the pattern is form

 So as you can see not to much time for my needle to make any headway. After having to frog my sister's throw four times I've finally mastered the Intarsia knitting as well as planning the layout for my sister's throw. Originally the pattern I had found was intended as a baby blanket and of course that simply was not going to do. So after brain storming then deciding to double up on the pattern. Reversing the rabbits on both sides to keep to the simplicity of the original pattern. To add a little length figured it best to do some color work  doing stripes of the rabbits colors. Luckily even as busy as this mom of three tends to be, I've successfully made it close to the half way point. Now the wonderful fun reverse and continue stitching.

Thursday, October 13, 2011


Okay for those of you that don't know I love dreads. Always have it started with a book that my best friend let me barrow, Forgive me it has been a while, but I believe it was Minon by L. A. Banks the Vampire Huntress Legend. The lead character Damali and her shoulder length locks. Never having really seen locks before, I goggled and being Caucasian and roughly 8 years ago there wasn't a lot of information nor pictures so whats a girl to do. Of course being under 18 and in my mothers house there was no way she was letting her daughter sport locks. It wasn't until I was showing the hubby pictures and telling how I would just die not having them. How sexy they are and awing over the computer screen for endless hours. He started to do research on the history and  to his surprise the cleanness of them so inspiring him to want dreads. After having My first son I had cut my hair short and it had proven impossible to grow. What with crazy scissor hands ( yes I mean me the inspired stylist) always chopping at my hair creating works of art. Finally, Finally while attending beauty school there was a distraction for those crazy hands to chop away at others and leave my own hair to grow. Don't get me wrong I had two slip ups that I regretted later. But finally it was the perfect lengths for my baby dreads. I started with my husbands first (my Guinea Pig). Me being too much of a perfectionist to walk around with anything other than perfection. After the many hours putting his and then mine in. Oh the splendor, not having to fix my winter coat of a thing called hair> I have thick wavy hair which ladies as you know the time it takes to fix and maintain the wild hair. There is no wet and go without later being a ig frizz ball or as my dreaded nickname IT. With my dreads it was exactly that no chemicals, no need to blow dry, I could still dye to my hearts content new color every time I needed a change or the mood s some would say. The many different ways my dreads could be styled. Now all things come to an end, yes sad to say, but never the less very true. I took my dreads out, Husband old me not to, but I did it anyways, proving to yet again be pig headed. Everyday after the regret piled and piled, No matter the time knitting the dreads were gone, my sexy lioness dreads were gone. My uniqueness was gone. October 5th Enough was enough and they are back in and here to stay, my dreads how I love thee.                                                                                                           
 two years ago, two months baby dreads
 after I added extensions to my locks
 6 months
 8 months right before taking my locks out
October 5th after roughly 6 hours and 83 locks later

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Sebastian's Birthday Adventure

For my oldest Sebastian's fourth birthday, we decided it'd be a nice treat for the boys if we went to Woolly Hollow State Park. Get a little sun and swim in the lake as well as just having a nice day out with the grandparents, and of course the playground. For a little boy that has every toy imaginable why not make memories to last a life time instead. The drive it's self was a nice peaceful one full of questions "Where we going, mom?" "Grandpa where we going, we going crazy?" so full of excitement, and curiosity  "Are we there yet?" Once we finally arrived the boys got to play on the playground for an hour or two then went for a small trail of adventure. Had lunch at TACO BELL, his favorite and finally got to go for a swim. pitched up the Winnie the Pooh tent and in the lake we went. My youngest Declan just shy of a year at this point was mommy's little clung-on passenger, having a blast just splashing mommy nonstop. Fox my two year old took a little while to get his bearings and wasn't so sure about the sandy bottom and keep tipping over like a bobber in the water staying close to land. No Sebastian my fearless warrior went looking for mermaids and everything at the bottom of the lake till in time he realized little boys gulping water wasn't such a great thing. All Afternoon they played splashing their aunt and of course Grandpa. Each having a blast and "one more time before we go please mom?" What a quite drive home with three content little boys dreaming a little dream, but a memory that will last forever. Happy Birthday Sebastian!

knitting for sister

My sister recently gave me several bags of wonderful yarn. Even though having ran out of room for my growing stash, I accepted the collection to continue hoarding. Stuffing it in the closet so my husband wouldn't see the full extent of the given yarn. At this point I have so much white yarn that I'm at a lost with what to do. White isn't my particularly favorite, it gets dirty fast, and the oil from my hands stains the beautiful work being done. But needless to say I'm a knitter and no yarn will be an outcast to my stash. It's been a few months since really having sat down, and had the yarn speak to me. Yes I know that sounds crazy. Piawacket how can yarn an inanimate object speak to you? Well if you sit long enough ogling and salivating long enough at the colors and all the possible designs, the color combinations being indefinite they speak, some more loudly than others of course. You've got your regal purple demanding respect and the voluptuous reds begging for curves to make bold statements. There are your quieter colors blending with earths seasons and romantic beauty, and our soft artistic clay colors that tend to be a little shyer but complimenting. It wasn't untill my sister who loves throws asked for me to make her a throw. SO the trouble began, yes I know anything I make she'll be more than happy with. But she's my sister, going through a rough patch at the moment like I did the first time away from home, spreading wings and learning the ins and outs of the wonders and the downfalls of "relationships". So wanting to make something more meaningful for her, something to inspire and to let her know no matter what I'm here, supporting, loving no matter what path she decides to take, hopefully to happiness and that mystical happy ending that so few these days achieve. Like all the inspiration and support she gives me. After a long exhausting search through my books of patterns, all being very beautiful and all but just not right for her. Then decided to turn to the internet to look for rabbit patterns also being her other love so decided to combine the two together. After hour after hour searching for patterns which of course a lot of the are not without a price. I finally found the perfect adorable friend to knit for my wonderful sister. Now the casting on begins!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

fighting the inevitable (a short story) work in progress

This last few months have been a rough slope that no matter what happens, can't quite get our  feet on solid ground. You spend your entire childhood dreaming of an amazing career, family, and the amazing things you'll have. But of course once you've grown up, done everything in the absolute wrong order, life just never seems to be what you imagined it to be. Our kids are our most prized possession, they mean the world to us, or at least to the majority. They mend broken hearts, later to brake them once we are no longer needed. When they are little we can do no wrong, giving them our love. No mater weather us to be on top of the world or so ashamedly poor, for the love we give is all that matters. In today's society a career is hard to come by, and jobs harder yet to come by, when in an instant, it's no longer there and from the bottom you must start again. Marriage is no longer asked in glory and is it no wonder why? Couples always fighting, money, jobs, food, and shelter. How can you not fight when there is no help to be had? How can you not fight when no one gives you a fighting chance? How is it so much easier for some ethnicity's to get help on the spot while others penny clinch their life's savings just to make it through another month of bills, and hope for something better. FINALLY come closer yet to the end just to make it day by day, conserving what little they have for their loved ones to eat while they themselves go hungry. Is it any wonder Gas prices are so high, that we choose to pay for gas for that hope of a job somewhere far across the world, that hope that...this is the one...that hope everything will not be lost after all. Families will not be torn apart. Hearts broken. Children lost in the dark and forgotten. The last thing anyone can loose is HOPE...THERE's always tomorrow. Yet in this darkness there's a war which has continued since the beginning and so too the prophecy  that one will bring an end to the suffering .

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

An Adventure to Remember, An Adventure to Inspire

This last weekend, my parents decided it was time for the mom of three to get a break and enjoy a relaxing evening out. With my wonderful husband as the babysitter, the boys got to enjoy an evening to themselves. Our destination Murry's Dinner Playhouse, which I have Longed to go for years. I was thoroughly surprised, we were greeted by a familiar face. At the time All I knew was that I had previously had her as a teacher. One of those situations where you endlessly rack your brain trying to put a name to the face, the persistent, Who Are You? I had checked the program to no avail. The buffet was mediocre another case of not a lot to choose from but surprisingly good for the small selection they had, the deserts on the other had were delicious. Finally after completing dining, as though all I had needed was the food to hit the brain it came to me. That familiar face was my freshman communications teacher, Hahaha, Mrs. Murry herself. The theater was of Shakespearean influence with the stage along one wall and the dinning tables wrapped around the stage. The stage was a nice size and well prepared. Now for the many of you that don't know all of my childhood I dreamed of being an actress, the spotlight, the thrill to be anyone and everyone. I played many roles and enjoyed them all, big, small, they were all a  new experience a way to be someone else. I wanted to know and do everything theater related, customs, hair, make-up, set, everything to further my knowledge, I was in choir, art. Sadly it was my sophomore year of high school that had changed my ideal dream career. I was placed in a class were favoritism took charge over skill, favoritism got your roles, and spots for competition after competition. So I decided to leave it all behind and try something new. Three kids later my dream of acting was dead and buried. The play we were honored to watch was, "Everyone Loves Opal". A comedy, that was splendidly acted and funny as could be. As we sat watching, I can only imagine my eyes the size of grapefruits and unblinking, doors began to open, ideas and dreams flooding through my body. My childhood dream once again spreading wings, "I want to be an actress when I grow up!"

Thursday, July 7, 2011

getting somewhere

Last year I decided to go to school for cosmetology, it's an industry that no matter what there is always a job. Always someone looking to better themselves one way or another. The people can be the most amazing people that anyone could ever meet, the most interesting hobbies...they have their desires, their weakness, they have the ability to pass hours of beautiful conversations about, kids, mother-in-laws, that ass of a husband we all seem to have. Our troubles in comparison being that of nothing at all but little ripples in a pool of water. I miss my boys, their need for me, their undeniable love, plus the hours salons, want you to work is close to impossible to negotiate with a family. Husbands hours of work, never knowing the days of which i'll work, and trying to find a sitter to work with those days and times. So I decided to stay home with my boys until the youngest is off to school. Squeezing in time for mom to have a break to knit, read, games, and whatever else is rare but wouldn't want it any other way.

what about me mom...?

So my almost four year old son has been watching me knit since he was born. He was the start of my yarn addiction and love to knit. Project after project, success after success, failure after failure, he has time after time asked is that mine mom? hat for me, blanket for me....? Each time I giggle and say no this is for grandma, this is for baby Bronx, or baby Bentley, Aunt Kayley, Tatum, and uncle Bailey. Truth is these projects are Ginny Pigs, for me to grow and learn new techniques. I want the best for all three of  my kids,  the best of my abilities for them. For Mother's Day the boys and my mother saw a book that they all just loved Creepy Cute Crochet, By Christen Haden, It is full of wonderful crochet dolls that are morbid but completely adorable, Grim Reapers, Amazons, vampires and other creatures. Slowly but surely creature after creature takes shape and collects on the book case awaiting to be stuffed and stitched together. For a special boy on his birthday at the end of the month.Which this will be the second project i've made for him. My first attempt was a baby blanket I crocheted but with my inability to keep numbers in my head turned out to be a triangle. Hopefully this time around it'll go a lot better. Fingers crossed!

Friday, June 24, 2011

My Suppliers Demands

So I love yarn, to the extent that i'd love to throw all my yarn out of their bug/rodent free containers and swim in my lovely's. As I blissfully whisper "My Precious" to each and every ball, loose skein, and odd bits that I have. Though that in all reality probably wouldn't be a great idea, i'd create quite a mess of knots that even Hermione Granger couldn't swish and flick her wand too. The Majority of my stash comes from three suppliers, One being of course my mom, Two my grandma when she comes down for visits about once a year, and three the odds and ends my sister that too loves the crafts but has no patience for. For the most part my mom is the main dealer that smuggles my addiction to me, but this supplier too has demands. In her ladies magazines and own thirst for trinkets which she comes up with, an assortment of projects for me. One year I made a cowl for the colder months that she rides on the back of  the motorcycle along with my dad on their trips. Then last year I made a decorative pillow which took time to finally place on top of a fitted pillow, She now has plans on a set of pillows. This past Christmas I made a pair of wine cozy's that made the patterns myself that she just happened to find in a magazine, easy enough to do, and fun to make, then had to make one for grandma too. Now it's on to the Creepy Cute Crochet she found for my Mother's Day Present from her and the boys...My suppliers demands will keep me busy, she betters my skills, and pushes me to do more as well as getting me out of my comfort zone....I'm on my way to success because of my suppliers demands

There's a Beginning to Everything

I've been knitting and crocheting going on four years. My grandma had me to start by crocheting chains and left it at that. So doing, that of any preteen I made chains belts, chain necklaces, chains to go over the mirrors, bracelets, etc. you get the picture, everything was a rainbow of chains. High school there was a knitting club which I longed to do, saddly never was able to make it to the lunch meetings due to drama rehearsals and whatnot. But finally when i was pregnant with my oldest I decided to buy the supplies, and teach myself how to knit and crochet. I wanted to give something of myself to him, something no one else could, something to let him know how much I loved him. Now the teaching part, hahaha no problem got it in no time. Being left handed was the struggle, all the books said do the pattern backwards, (backwards how? This imagination can think of 20 different way to do it backwards) then the terms were different, you've got your English buggers that write it down as one thing when they mean another, you've got patterns that no matter what you do, never turn out, and it's not till later you research  finding the damn pattern is wrong. Oh back to the being left handed, decided it was easier to do it right handed plus i'm a thrower so i'm slow as hell. Eventually . I'll need to switch to picking i'd be able to get more work done, now that i have three boys to chase after. After three years I'm finally comfortable to make my own patterns, simply craft away. So far I've accomplished an assortment of blankets, scarfs, rasta tams, wine cozy's and creepy cute crochet, which I just love. Every day is an adventure, full of new projects to finish, yarn to ogle, and fantasize about!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Hearts Guardian

There is a creature of malice burried deep within my chest clinging to my heart and day by day it's claws pierce further and further denining my life...there is a truth that must be said...must be Yelled to the skys...Crys of a mad woman full of hate and hurt from the wrongs of longer will it be be confinded, no longer will others cruel doings be excused and blamed upon that of the acceptance of an abused spouse...hiding from fear that others will see or judge...the creatures wings spreading, as the air is collected to vomit the disease of hypocritcy, stupidity, and far worse your desire to be pittied. You Know not who you are OR What you've done. Which is sadder yet! Keep smoking the vision dust, keep screaming your falsehoods. The creature will rejoice in your demise. Till that day my heart has it's chosen gaurdian...


I've got a critter that comes out at night to visit with me...mind you there just a brief visits...sneaky lil first it was fun..then Annoying..THEN IT became HOSTILE...i dramatized giving the thing soda, then wait for the explosion. Damn it, why,  the mom turned on and remembered, i'd have to clean it up, and my luck it'd explodes on me while i long last sweet, victory at the defeat, the capture of the enemy...then the twitch of a whisker, and scurry of a tail, here comes the reinforcement.


is green with envy...and sadly that brings the Hulk out..."Hulk Smash, I'm pissed and this shits" guess it's better than angry black woman that says things later regrettable...yet ppl say i'm the best, luckily their not in my head seeing how many pieces their in, luckily i have a filter and go with the flow...why does my dumb-ass choose to be nice when i just end up kicking myself in the ass...yes this is the age old question. Why can't i be honest and tell it like it is, we're not doing either of us a favor. Here's the secret, here in my bosom because?

The Critter

There's something beseeching my undivided attention, demanding for completion. It's there in a dark, dark house. Within the house is a dark, dark room. In this dark, dark room three boys like to play, but there in the distance is a dark, dark corner. Secluded in the corner is dark, dark critter that consumes all that lays eyes upon it's existence. Bending the mind to do it's bidding, "Let me grow, need more for the sacrificing"..."You CAN NOT ignore me, for i'm forever here, You CAN NOT live without me". Creeping through IT there's a small gleam of possibility, of hope "Finish, Finish, you must' your destiny .........RAWR!!!

Dark Closet

cornered and alone in a corroded closet, the consent struggle to find the handle to freedom, the many pressing objects blocking the path and the tremendous burden piling down from reality sets in you put yourself'll never get out without a fatal price, even then you'll never escape the seclusion, the stench of past delusions, the selflessness of caring for all but yourself...lose that last gleam of hope that someone else cares...mostly the big WHAT IF!!!

A Simple Thank You

a special thank you i received...i tend to give a lot of my knitted and crotched projects away. This past year has been breeding season for family and my growing skills. Out of the generosity of my own marshmallow heart I've made blankets...something of myself for family i may never meat...made pillows for my wonderful mom  and mother-in-law... i've made hats and scarves, something of myself made for loved ones to bundle up in the cold...thank you for being in my life, allowing me to share apart of myself with those i love most...thank you is the most precious reward. it warms my heart tremendously, knowing my work and myself are deeply appreciate and accepted.


Two sticks click..... click...... click in silence click..... click in chaotic madness.
It's intoxicating knowing I'm in control.
The colors reveal hidden secrets. 
Stitches give way to new breakthroughs, accomplishments, each  telling stories that will never be spoken aloud.
Stories of love, pain,  abandonment, hope and desire.
Above all else click..... click..... click never ending friendship, and unconditional love.
These sticks are encouragement of freedom.
They have the power to create endless works of art and new beginnings


a lot on my mind...clinging to memories that does no one any good, least of all me, here's to another day alone with the nightstalkers, the vamps, the monsters for here I have a home... Close to the ripper, blood and all it's glory, and the high of others pain, the paint gets me through, the masks keep me separate, and alone...split persoanilty...I call her Piawacket...the dark half that pulls me through safely

Why i'm me

someone recently asked me ...______ why do you wear your makeup and hair in such extreme fashions, why not be like everyone? first thought what and be like everyone else another android marching to the same drum of death marching to Medusa's cold, hard, stare of death...shit why not go out in the bitch she ain't all that and i've come to take her place...Second ppl just can't pull off what i do, they don't have the confidence...the i just don't give a damn attitude...nor the fun of making ppl stare in awe that some just know what they are doing...or the best i just don't wanna be fucked with and i'm letting you know ahead of time so don't waste my nor your time with mess...third there are alternatives to beauty weather dark and deadly or fake double dd, over-bleached, tracks, painted on none character flaws the make us unique and special. so after lots of thought and really having a loo of a day i ask you why fit in, why be like everyone else, nothing to tell you apart, nothing for ppl to remember you by. Besides this is me and it'll never change approve or move...

Beauty Is in The Eye of The Beholder

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
What is Beauty,
How Is it defined?
For if you check the dictionary,
Nothings mentioned of tall, long-legged-models, growing ever blonder.
Not a single ideal stated of board straight-hair instead of the naughty,
Consisting of waves, or curls, or thick untamed, having the attitude of a fiend.
In today’s life beauty is paid for and not acquired naturally. 
Taking away from the true beauty given to thee.
All created different yet the same,
All in the almighty Gods Image,
Or is that not what throughout the world teachers and priests, strive to teach.
So who’s to say if anyone is of extreme, drop dead gorgeous beauty, when all catches someone else’s breathe.
You would think that through all these years of constant changing of the time,
We’d realize, we must all go through the everlasting, ever changing, entrapment of the maze.
Were many get lost along the way.
And are easy to give in with an utter screech.
To another thoughts and ideals of beauty.
For you’ll never find that true mate until you accept that beauty is truly within the eye of the beholder.
Everyone has their own needs and ideal of satisfaction of beauty.

The Voices From Within

The Voices From Within
(The Damage has Been Done)

Silent everlasting eyes watch from all corners of complete darkness beam on my small, tender frame. Eavesdropping ears in pen- dropping silence listen intently for a breath of air or a hesitant heartbeat. Trembling cold, in ghastly fears, waiting for the judgment to pass, waiting for acceptance or another quenched dream of denial.
Through unspoken, anger and hysterical voices beleague me.
The voices probe through my mind, digging deep, deeper, into layers of the past, as I face waves of agony, with pained wails, I erupt.
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A Sea of Dreams

A Sea Of Dreams

I wake in a sea of sheets,
Sweating like I’ve ran a marathon,
Choking on silenced screams still feeling invading hands imprinted and tracing my body.
As my eyes adjust to the darkness my mind agonizes over remembrances not soon forgotten.

I wake in a sea of sheets,
Eyes dilated beyond normalcy due to my inner turmoil’s,
My limbs weighing a ton.
The dead always finding entree into my dreams, 
Speaking of unaccomplished or forgotten deeds which I find quite oddly.

Here Then Gone

Here Then Gone

With the blink of an eye, I‘m beautiful, confident, lustful, wanting and craving alls attention.
With the blink of an eye I’m a dangerous outspoken warrior stalking her prey.
With the blink of an eye I’m a wounded cub without love snapping, bearing fangs, shutting all behind ramparts.
Each time my eyes close new emotions and memories bombard my frame of mind.
It’s often quite humorous to watch as the many emotions that come bubbling up from the pits of hell.
Leaves others speechless and awaiting the horrors yet to come,
But mostly It’s quite shameful for I’ve no control, everyone else able to pull my levers, press buttons, that are out of reach to the one demanding control over their own sanity.
I pray to the heavens, I bargain with hell yet to no glory do I hold.
With the blink of an eye those long past roamers are free, for seeking guidance from those left behind.