Wednesday, July 20, 2011

fighting the inevitable (a short story) work in progress

This last few months have been a rough slope that no matter what happens, can't quite get our  feet on solid ground. You spend your entire childhood dreaming of an amazing career, family, and the amazing things you'll have. But of course once you've grown up, done everything in the absolute wrong order, life just never seems to be what you imagined it to be. Our kids are our most prized possession, they mean the world to us, or at least to the majority. They mend broken hearts, later to brake them once we are no longer needed. When they are little we can do no wrong, giving them our love. No mater weather us to be on top of the world or so ashamedly poor, for the love we give is all that matters. In today's society a career is hard to come by, and jobs harder yet to come by, when in an instant, it's no longer there and from the bottom you must start again. Marriage is no longer asked in glory and is it no wonder why? Couples always fighting, money, jobs, food, and shelter. How can you not fight when there is no help to be had? How can you not fight when no one gives you a fighting chance? How is it so much easier for some ethnicity's to get help on the spot while others penny clinch their life's savings just to make it through another month of bills, and hope for something better. FINALLY come closer yet to the end just to make it day by day, conserving what little they have for their loved ones to eat while they themselves go hungry. Is it any wonder Gas prices are so high, that we choose to pay for gas for that hope of a job somewhere far across the world, that hope that...this is the one...that hope everything will not be lost after all. Families will not be torn apart. Hearts broken. Children lost in the dark and forgotten. The last thing anyone can loose is HOPE...THERE's always tomorrow. Yet in this darkness there's a war which has continued since the beginning and so too the prophecy  that one will bring an end to the suffering .

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

An Adventure to Remember, An Adventure to Inspire

This last weekend, my parents decided it was time for the mom of three to get a break and enjoy a relaxing evening out. With my wonderful husband as the babysitter, the boys got to enjoy an evening to themselves. Our destination Murry's Dinner Playhouse, which I have Longed to go for years. I was thoroughly surprised, we were greeted by a familiar face. At the time All I knew was that I had previously had her as a teacher. One of those situations where you endlessly rack your brain trying to put a name to the face, the persistent, Who Are You? I had checked the program to no avail. The buffet was mediocre another case of not a lot to choose from but surprisingly good for the small selection they had, the deserts on the other had were delicious. Finally after completing dining, as though all I had needed was the food to hit the brain it came to me. That familiar face was my freshman communications teacher, Hahaha, Mrs. Murry herself. The theater was of Shakespearean influence with the stage along one wall and the dinning tables wrapped around the stage. The stage was a nice size and well prepared. Now for the many of you that don't know all of my childhood I dreamed of being an actress, the spotlight, the thrill to be anyone and everyone. I played many roles and enjoyed them all, big, small, they were all a  new experience a way to be someone else. I wanted to know and do everything theater related, customs, hair, make-up, set, everything to further my knowledge, I was in choir, art. Sadly it was my sophomore year of high school that had changed my ideal dream career. I was placed in a class were favoritism took charge over skill, favoritism got your roles, and spots for competition after competition. So I decided to leave it all behind and try something new. Three kids later my dream of acting was dead and buried. The play we were honored to watch was, "Everyone Loves Opal". A comedy, that was splendidly acted and funny as could be. As we sat watching, I can only imagine my eyes the size of grapefruits and unblinking, doors began to open, ideas and dreams flooding through my body. My childhood dream once again spreading wings, "I want to be an actress when I grow up!"

Thursday, July 7, 2011

getting somewhere

Last year I decided to go to school for cosmetology, it's an industry that no matter what there is always a job. Always someone looking to better themselves one way or another. The people can be the most amazing people that anyone could ever meet, the most interesting hobbies...they have their desires, their weakness, they have the ability to pass hours of beautiful conversations about, kids, mother-in-laws, that ass of a husband we all seem to have. Our troubles in comparison being that of nothing at all but little ripples in a pool of water. I miss my boys, their need for me, their undeniable love, plus the hours salons, want you to work is close to impossible to negotiate with a family. Husbands hours of work, never knowing the days of which i'll work, and trying to find a sitter to work with those days and times. So I decided to stay home with my boys until the youngest is off to school. Squeezing in time for mom to have a break to knit, read, games, and whatever else is rare but wouldn't want it any other way.

what about me mom...?

So my almost four year old son has been watching me knit since he was born. He was the start of my yarn addiction and love to knit. Project after project, success after success, failure after failure, he has time after time asked is that mine mom? hat for me, blanket for me....? Each time I giggle and say no this is for grandma, this is for baby Bronx, or baby Bentley, Aunt Kayley, Tatum, and uncle Bailey. Truth is these projects are Ginny Pigs, for me to grow and learn new techniques. I want the best for all three of  my kids,  the best of my abilities for them. For Mother's Day the boys and my mother saw a book that they all just loved Creepy Cute Crochet, By Christen Haden, It is full of wonderful crochet dolls that are morbid but completely adorable, Grim Reapers, Amazons, vampires and other creatures. Slowly but surely creature after creature takes shape and collects on the book case awaiting to be stuffed and stitched together. For a special boy on his birthday at the end of the month.Which this will be the second project i've made for him. My first attempt was a baby blanket I crocheted but with my inability to keep numbers in my head turned out to be a triangle. Hopefully this time around it'll go a lot better. Fingers crossed!