Thursday, February 16, 2012

Loneliness takes its toll

Besides getting our new home in order, this perfectionist, hasn't had a lot of social interaction. Now Normally I'd say I'm not much of a people person. In fact I'm one of those people that tend to run away from any type of contact when it comes to socializing. I keep my head down and run in and out of a store just to get back to my confort zone of my own home. I've just never been good at the whole game of interacting with other people. Never know what to say or how to respond to statements made. So I park it in the corner and watch as everyone else gets along. Sadly within the last week I've started to miss interacting. Having my kids around is wonderful but they aren't exactly adult conversationalists. With my husband away at work it makes for a very lonely day. Once the boys go down for their nap, there's two to three hours of what to do? Then back to being mom, finshing off the afternoon, husband comes home with enough time to eat, share his day and then it's bed. So again begins the ritual of what to do? Generally knitting/crocheting fills my void as I sit watching a few shows here and there. It relaxes me and frees my mind from the stressful day of mom. But as of late my knitting/crochet has sat in place waiting to be picked up waiting to be finished. I really want to but find that I'm inable to gather myself up to enjoy the wonderful tasks of creating beautiful pieces. Reading the many books that stare at me day in and day out waiting to reveal whole worlds of thought and adventure again to no availe, as with playing WOW!!! I'd like to but lack the need to enjoy the task at hand. Might I be burnt out of almost finishing getting our home put back together, lack my muse, or is there just too much I'd like to do and just not enough of me to do everything my heart desires. No I realized today after a brief visit from my parents, I need someone to converse with. Someone I can share my desires with. What is better than sitting and knitting than to sit and knit with a fellow person who too shares the addiction of yarn. Or someone to play games with or just to talk to so your not talking to the walls just to hear another's voice. My serenity has taken it's toll. In spite of my lonely nature I've thought of starting a knitting/crochet group. Where others can meet and stitch. Complain about their day, learn and grow. Who knows there may just so happen to be another lonely soul out there waiting, just as I wait.

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